Menlo Park, CA – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg stated Friday that he would personally “get revenge on designers utilizing heavy sediment traps.” Sediment traps come in many forms and are used in green infrastructure projects to capture particles before they enter a bio-retention facility. Therefore, they make it possible to clean and restore stormwater at a relatively low cost. However, they often weigh hundreds of pounds and take many hours to clean. In other words, they can be a real bitch – and Zuckerberg is tired of overlooking the problem. “I will contact my favorite Russian hackers if necessary, and we will bring those responsible to their freaking knees,” he promises. The comment was smirked at by some who have noted that Zuckerberg’s own knees seem to bend backwards. “I really appreciate his concern,” said Vanaynay Rainwater, Manager of Stormwater Management for the Village of Lafayette, IN. “This issue has plagued the nation for decades and it really feels great to have the support of Mr. Zuckerberg.” It is still uncertain what the Facebook magnate will do with his team of Russian hackers, but there are some who predict it will use the publicity to promote his campaign for Human President of the Earth.