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So far ls_admin has created 9 blog entries.

Local Bros Appreciate Proper Stormwater Management

By |2019-06-10T10:48:18-05:00June 10th, 2019|Categories: Lake Street Supply|

Orange County, CA – Thad Stallworth and Brody Winston are two bros with many hobbies. Many of their favorite activities are fairly bro-typical: crushing beers, catching waves, and lifting heavy (emphasis theirs) weights. Surprisingly, however, the two also share a deep love of stormwater management techniques. “We just get, like, really freaked sometimes,” says Brody, adding [...]

Florida Tots Trapped in Dangerous Landscape-Grade Sandbox

By |2019-06-10T10:47:43-05:00June 10th, 2019|Categories: Lake Street Supply|

Yeehaw Junction, FL – First responders freed two children from a sandbox Thursday afternoon near Yeehaw Junction. Dustin J. Sack had just finished construction on a new backyard sandbox for his children and had filled the play area with new sand from a nearby construction materials supplier. "Everything was great at first. My kids were happy [...]

French Chef Detained in Infiltration Trench

By |2019-06-10T10:47:18-05:00June 10th, 2019|Categories: Lake Street Supply|

Fargo, ND – Illustrious French chef Remy (of Ratatouille fame) was found nearly drowned in a grocery store parking lot infiltration trench in Fargo late Sunday night. Following intense rainfall, the stormwater surge propelled the talented rodent straight into the stormwater detention structure, where he was immediately overtaken by the sheer amount of water. Emergency services [...]

Zuckerberg Furious Over Heavy Sediment Traps

By |2019-06-10T10:46:51-05:00June 10th, 2019|Categories: Lake Street Supply|

Menlo Park, CA – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg stated Friday that he would personally “get revenge on designers utilizing heavy sediment traps.” Sediment traps come in many forms and are used in green infrastructure projects to capture particles before they enter a bio-retention facility. Therefore, they make it possible to clean and restore stormwater at a [...]

Phrase “Green Infrastructure” May Drive Facebook CEO to Suicide

By |2019-06-10T10:46:24-05:00June 10th, 2019|Categories: Lake Street Supply|

Menlo Park – Zuckerberg was overheard bashing the phrase ‘green infrastructure’ Saturday evening at local club “Privacy Policy.” While his feelings on the environment are unclear, his hatred for the term ‘green infrastructure’ burns with the fire of a thousand collapsing suns. “I’m all for the environment, but I’m a simple guy,” Zuckerberg said when questioned [...]

Arnold Schwarzenegger Caught Peeing on Permeable Pavement

By |2019-06-10T10:45:51-05:00June 10th, 2019|Categories: Lake Street Supply|

Kankakee, IL – The former Terminator was spotted Wednesday in Kankakee urinating on a small section of Unilock Da Vinci permeable pavers. Oddly, when confronted by local citizens and reporters, Schwarzenegger’s appreciation for Unilock’s work was apparent. “I mean no disrespect to Unilock in any way,” he said, adding that, “If anything, me peeing here is [...]

Local Teen Caught Using Rain Barrel as Bong

By |2019-06-10T10:45:25-05:00June 10th, 2019|Categories: Lake Street Supply|

San Diego, CA – As marijuana laws have gradually relaxed throughout the Golden State, so too have humanity’s standards on how to consume the drug. A 19-year-old man, Bobby Peters, was found using a neighbor’s rain barrel to smoke the potent herb, according to The Los Angeles Times, the bong’s possibly record-breaking size not appearing to [...]

EXCLUSIVE: Beyoncé Photographed Tending Extensive Green Roof in Bathing Suit

By |2019-06-10T10:44:18-05:00June 10th, 2019|Categories: Lake Street Supply|

Urbana, IL – Pop Star Beyoncé Knowles was spotted Sunday enjoying her newly constructed extensive green roof at her vacation home in Urbana. The former Destiny’s Child star has always had a passion for stormwater management, according to her sister, Solange. “I truly believe if she wasn’t doing music and movies and all her charity and [...]

Rain Garden Rage Reported in Quiet Neighborhood

By |2019-06-10T10:09:33-05:00June 10th, 2019|Categories: Lake Street Supply|

St. Charles, IL – What started as a simple walk in the park for one of the brightest minds in astrophysics quickly turned into a bloodbath. Early this morning, St. Charles residents reported seeing Neil DeGrasse Tyson trampling a rain garden in apparent rage. Near as neighbors could tell, the cause was his dog’s defecation on [...]